Epic fail?

Normally, I try to avoid the expressions "kids" use because I would not want to come across as a wannabe kid tryhard...lol! But I've been seeing this one a bit lately, and it's time I came out and said it - as far as my non-negotiables are concerned....EPIC FAIL! Not only are they not non-negotiable, but they are utterly and completely negotiable, which is why I don't do them. Clearly this is not going to help me achieve any of my goals because nothing is going to change. I'm not reporting this because I'm surprised about it, more so because I'm not. Like CH says, "If you want to live in Groundhog Day, don't change a thing." Helllooo, Groundhog Day. Again. I can hear I Got You Babe playing as we speak. Fair enough, yes, Dicky Knee did raise his ugly head in the last month or so. But there was still lots I could have done - I just haven't done it. So I'm wondering what it is to be for me. My behaviour would suggest I want to stay fat forever, preferably putting on even more weight, something I can ill afford to do. Intellectually I don't, not at all, but if I'm not prepared to do anything to change my situation, then I might as well be saying, "Pass me that Krispy Kreme box while I staple my bum firmly to the couch, where I expect to remain for the next 10 years or so." No. That's not happening.

Today I had brekky with a friend of mine. We have known each other a while through the HBC website. We have had similar lifelong weight battles, we weigh a similar amount, we have a similar amount of weight to lose also. She would be my PERFECT training partner, with just one snag - she lives out in the sticks on the southside and me, out in the sticks on the northside. What do to? Well, for a start, I asked her if she wanted to be an accountability buddy for me and I for her. We both agreed that if we tried to do too much at once, being realistic, we will fall over quickly and then hide from one another. *rueful grin* So today, we decided we would be one another's accountability buddy's for one good lifestyle habit each. Great if we can achieve more, but we are only policing the one good habit. Hers is 30 minutes of exercise on six days of the week. Mine is going to sound like an odd one, but believe me, it's so important because this one has a huge impact on the rest of my day. I am going to...work set hours. Oh, my God, what a novel concept. But adding structure to my day is exactly what I must do. Here's how it goes for a reluctant home worker who doesn't feel like sitting at her puter slaving away on a TV show she detests. Procrastinates all day. Literally. Might start on the show at...8pm. If it takes 7 hours to do, that means a 3am finish. What happens next day? Of course I am tired and feel like crap. Of course that means I "feel" too tired to exercise. Of course it means I spend at least some of the day nodding off on the couch in front of the TV just cos I can. Oh, yes, make no mistake - unstructured hours are a shocker for me. The more chaotic and disorderly my life is, the worse my eating is, the less I exercise... yada yada yada.

So that's my goal - working set hours. I have asked my friend, if possible, to be a bit "mean" to me if she can, and I said I'd do the same for her, because if we don't talk straight, we are not being good accountability buddies. That is my current non-negotiable behaviour and supersedes all others. Let's just see if doing that means I do other things I need to do in a lot more productive way.