Yes, more Harperesque ramblings from me today. I think it's gonna go on for a while. Hehe. :)
I have been thinking this week about how for the last five or six months, my complaining and whining and procrastinating about my weight loss had reached almost Olympic levels in terms of how good I got at it. THE biggest thing I got out of last Sunday was that there is no special day, no special time, no special mindset required to lose weight and be healthy. I honestly never really thought about just how overrated motivation is, maybe because I managed to maintain mine for such a long time prior to falling off the wagon (and being run over by it several thousand times, I might add). So I thought I was "cured". And what does that even mean? That after being overweight (well, OK, let's be honest - morbidly obese) for the vast majority of my 43 years on this planet, that a bit over a year "in the zone" was going to stick and last and I'd never, ever be tempted to go back to where I'd been at my worst and I could afford to "relax"? When I think about it now, I was being so naive, not to mention childish. What I really needed to realise and accept is that my genetics, combined with my background and history, mean that for however many more years I get on this planet, I will always have to be vigilant and mindful when it comes to food. I do believe in time that if I really make a big effort to change my eating so that I eat only when I am hungry, it will become more automatic and I won't have to think about it as much, but right now, when I'm coming from a place of eating what I like, when I like, how much I want (i.e. lots), vigilance is certainly what I need.
But oddly enough, the one thing I was mostly resisting recently, exercise, is what is going to help me the most. The more I do physically, the better my body works, the better my mind works, which means I have less urges to eat crap for any reason under the sun and my hunger signals become more real and genuine. It's a no-brainer, really. So why, for so long, didn't I just suck it up and do it? That's easy - I was waiting until I "felt like it". No wonder I didn't start! I could have waited another century and I wouldn't have "felt ready". And none of us has that!
My body is tired, but it's slowly remembering what it used to be able to do a few months ago, and the only way is better, stronger, faster. Woot! :)